If being idle was illegal, I’d have committed mad crimes –
Pop 2 or 3 Percs and keep staring at the time –
Impossible to unwind with a 1/5, an 1/8, and a bottle of wine –
I can’t seem to fast-forward, only sit back and rewind –
Forget Jersey and New York, I’m in a poverty stricken state of mind –
Watch my past replay as my eyes go wild –
Slow motion, freeze frame, absorb every clip for a while –
Until I can’t physically take it no more –
I want every bone in my body to rejuvenate the last 4 to 16 years of my life –
Eliminate the strife –
That I try to deduce, but like Pinky and the Brain,
Never win, always lose –
I got bats in the attic, cobwebs in the belfry –
And nothing else but a notepad and a rusty mechanical pencil –
And my dreams you can’t see -
And if you can, you’d be looking through the naked eyes of a blind man –
Invisible, painful, and hard to understand –
Or if you could, my friend, you’d be a better man than me –
You ever toke away the pain just before you lay down?
And choke your soul to sleep to maintain your sanity –
Probably –
I know I ain’t the only one who doesn’t welcome slumber or the setting of the sun –
Would rather be out at Razzle Dazzle off of Route 1 –
Counting down time like it’s the last day of the last month of the year –
Wasting away in the midst of twilight crack kingdom –
Like the fives and ones I’ve been burning on Destiny all night, son –
But she’s a loner –
Been steady dedicating, credit, debit, cash money, a victim to payment plans I can’t even pronounce –
Said prayers, did personal favors, worked for my wages, wrote her papers, her thesis, 45 fuckin’ pages, and flat checks so that they’d never bounce –
And after all that shit, I think it’s safe to say I barely know her -
You can’t set your sights on a prize you want as your own -
If you can’t recognize her when she’s right under your nose –
So I wake up ten to four, with a faint vision from the night before –
I try to ignore all the soreness in my body –
See my car’s in one piece, so I thank God that he’s looking out for me –
Dehydration’s taking over so I let it be –
I close my eyes and try to sleep a little more –
7 winks and 4 snores later someone’s knocking at my door –
It’s Destiny in all her glory –
She said her name was Fate, but it was too late –
My pockets are empty,
Like a 40 on the corner of Essex and Pulaski –
And just like the night before –
I couldn’t recognize her face ~